Improving Your "Click" Rate
By Kathe Grooms

Have you ever noticed that with some people, you just seem to click, and with others – no matter how hard you try –  it just doesn’t happen? Understanding what’s going on and knowing how to work with it can make a huge difference in your work – and your life.

Chances are that you click with people who prefer to communicate the same way you do. Your sense of effortless connection is a sign that you are being treated as you like to be treated, and you feel more trusting as a result. When your style is different from someone else’s, your first instinct tells you to treat them as you’d like to be treated – but that doesn’t feel good to the other person, so the click doesn’t happen.

The trick is to learn to identify what type the other person is, and slightly adjust your natural communication style to match theirs. That skill is learnable; it’s called Versatility.

Research by Wilson Learning Corporation on more than 2 million people around the world indicates that people naturally communicate in one of four distinct ways, called Social Styles. In any large group, about 25% of its members fall into each type.

From that perspective, you have one chance in four of clicking with a student, colleague, customer, friend, or partner. You need to be Versatile to have any chance of clicking with three out of four people, however!

So what are these types, you ask, and how do they like to be treated?

Analyticals are detail-oriented, deliberate, and well-organized. They listen and study information carefully, weighing all alternatives. Analyticals let others take the social initiative and prefer efficient, businesslike approaches. Structure, fact, risk reduction and conservative practicality matter a lot to them. They don’t gesture much, tend to use proper speech, have a somewhat formal posture and a deliberate rate of speech. How do you treat them? Show respect, let them save face, try to be accurate and factual, support their principles and thinking, stress HOW a problem can be solved, give data and evidence, and follow up with service.

Drivers are forceful, results-oriented, and controlled. They have clear objectives and focus on results rather than relationships at first. Drivers feel a sense of urgency; they act quickly and confront issues directly. They also expect people to listen carefully and respond on time. They have restrained gestures, formal posture, and rapid speech with little inflection except to emphasize important points. How do you treat them? Give them results, let them save time, be efficient, support their conclusions and actions, stress WHAT a solution will accomplish, give them options and choices, and follow up with action.

Amiables are warm, cooperative, and attentive. They gather information and process it with others before making decisions. Amiables prize strong, trusting relationships, decisions supported by others, and interactive problem-solving. They are careful but cooperative. They are friendly and open, have relaxed posture, slow speech, eager facial expressions and pleasant, soft voices. How do you treat them? Give them approval, let them save bonds with people, try to be agreeable, support their feelings, stress WHY a solution is best, give them assurances and guarantees, and follow up with support.

Expressives are fast-paced, outgoing, enthusiastic, and visionary. They build open, trusting relationships, collaborate well on finding and enacting solutions. Expressives see the big picture, are futuristic and holistic, inspire others. They are direct and open, including in their gestures; quite lively; and use their voices dramatically (and sometimes loudly). How do you treat them? Give them recognition, let them save effort, try to be stimulating, support their visions and hunches, stress WHO else has tried a solution, give them testimony and incentives, and follow up with attention.

Just for fun, try picking someone you will deal with today. What type is he or she? What can you do to be Versatile with them? Give it a try – and don’t be surprised if things go noticeably better than before.

For more information on these ideas, see The Social Styles Handbook and Versatile Selling, available in libraries, book stores and from Nova Vista Publishing at www.novavistapub.com.