Creating Successful Mentoring Partnerships
By Ann M. Johnston

Over the years as a consultant, designer consultant, designer, author, and presenter on the topic of mentoring, I have heard the stories of hundreds of mentoring partners representing a spectrum of mentoring experiences across varied backgrounds and demographic groups. This article is a reflection on conversations and facilitated group experiences from 1990 to present.

Few people are neutral in their feelings about mentoring. Most, if they have had a mentoring relationship, begin by telling of their gratitude for having met the "right" mentor at the "right" time. From that perspective as protégé, mentoring can have positive nostalgic memories associated with the experience. If, on the other hand, they feel that they have received poor or no mentoring, it is reflected upon as missed opportunity."

People enter into mentoring relationships for a variety of reasons and at different stages of life. Mentoring relationships can be a formal or informal, long or short term, local or long-distance. For some, mentors have "appeared" when they have needed them, whereas for others they create a process to network and locate a mentor for a specific reason.

Some organizations choose to create formal mentoring program. The reasons for this vary from one organization to the next. In the current climate of today's workforce, mentoring is an overarching strategy with anticipated outcomes linked to: 

• Ensuring a s smooth transition into the workplace as part of on-boarding or orientation programs;
• Promoting overall employee engagement, productivity, and skill-development;
• Increasing employee retention rates among specific under-represented groups;
• Informing the perspective of leaders to the experiences of employees from backgrounds different than their own.

Regardless of whether or not your company has a formal mentoring program, it is an excellent idea to consider if your skills could be enhanced through a mentoring partnership or if you have skills that could be shared with another to benefit their career. Creating a successful mentoring relationship is certainly easier if you have a positive mentoring partnership to use as the foundation for future reference.

The purpose of this article is to provide some practical suggestions for mentoring partnerships regardless of the level of experience with mentoring.

Is mentoring essential for my career development?

The popularity of formal mentoring programs in most major corporations is a testament to the practical necessity of developing effective networks and resources as part of an overall development plan. James Clawson, in his April 1985 article Is Mentoring Necessary? suggests that "career planners should consider the quality of their developmental relationships and their visibility with senior management." If you are able to develop a broad range of contacts throughout your company and have meaningful interaction with those at higher levels than your own, you may not need a mentor.

In a very real way, mentoring also provides individuals with the opportunity to reach beyond themselves for information. For mentors and protégés, it is an opportunity to share the "gift" of their insights, knowledge, and expertise with another without knowing for certain if the gift will be accepted, rejected, transformed, or left as is. In a world of immediate gratification, mentoring is an opportunity to take a risk that the result may not be immediately apparent and may perhaps never be known. Where mentoring was at one time compulsory an obligation from one generation to the next, it has become optional and in a remarkable sense, radically counter-culture.

Given the very real disparity in many companies between certain employee groups, mentoring is essential. "Mentoring for employees of color and women is vital to their growth within a company, sort of a buoy in an ocean" according to Dr. David Thomas, a leading expert in the development of minority executives and cited in a 2002 DiversityInc.com article. For many, mentoring can make or break their ability to succeed in their workplaces and ultimately their careers.

How do you navigate mentoring relationships across differences?

All relationships, mentoring or otherwise are conducted across differences (race, gender, economics, style, education among others). Avoid the "trap" of believing that affinity with a person based on gender, race, or other dimension of diversity will alleviate the need to navigate differences. Certainly, some levels of affinity provide an opportunity for a deeper level of empathy and action planning on certain topics; however, it is never a good idea to assume the other person will always share your experience or perspective simply because of a common element in your backgrounds.

Develop the ability to be culturally responsible and responsive. Be aware of your own background and the multiple dimensions of who you are. Often, the metaphor of an iceberg is helpful in diversity conversations to underscore how important those aspects of diversity are that we cannot readily see. Remember that 80-90% of an iceberg is below the waterline. Consider the aspects about yourself that are above and below the waterline. Consider how those aspects impact your decisions and your expectations for interaction with others.

How can both partners in a mentoring relationship develop the skills to articulate their expectations?

Appreciation and gratitude for some mentors is immense and in turn frustration with those who have not lived up to certain expectations is considerable.

Expectations are often tricky to articulate. We may not be fully aware of what are our expectations are or how much importance we are placing on them. Our expectations are born from our lived experiences past and present, messages from our culture and background, and our vision and dreams for the future. In short, our expectations are both fact and myth, neither fully true not fully fabricated. Expectations reflect our hope or fear of what "may be".

Understand that there is a continuum of awful, good, and great mentor/protégé partnerships and time will tell which yours will be. Early on, be clear about how you define an awful, good, or great mentoring relationship. What are the specific characteristics and behaviors that are identified with each? Check in with yourself and each other to see if you are "staying on track" with your expectations for a "great" mentoring partnership.

Partners are encouraged to talk about the "rules of the road" for mentoring. This typically refers to the logistics of periodic meetings between the two. Of course, having an agreed upon understanding of the format, length, focus, and location of sessions is an important aspect of building trust in a mentoring relationship.

However, there is a great deal of work below the surface that must be considered prior to and during the engagement to ensure success.

If my mentoring partner provides me with a suggestion, do I have to act on it?
This is another example of the type of "rules of the road" that are seldom discussed yet should be. Depending on the status, role, and experience of your mentoring partner, it may seem expedient to act on their suggestions and advice without question. If your mentoring partner has a powerful personality or proven success with a particular strategy, it may seem perfectly logical to follow their direction. It may seem expedient and logical, however, things are not always as they seem.

What kind of suggestion are they making? It is "common knowledge" in your organization that a process be completed in a particular way? Is there an industry-specific or safety standard that you have been unsure of that your partner has clarified for you? Does their suggestion make sense in context with your intended course of action or suggestions you have received from others or your supervisor? Is their suggestion in alignment with your personal and professional values and ethics?

Often suggestions stem from experience based on personal style. Style is a critically important, yet often overlooked, dimension of diversity. Carefully consider if their suggestion will "work" with your personal style. Are there other dimensions of diversity that afford the other person privilege to handle situations in a certain manner that may not be possible for you to emulate?

What are the characteristics of a "great" mentoring partner?

Often the surface level answer to that question involves attributes such as: motivated to be in the mentoring relationship; committed to the time required meetings; or knows how to get things done around here. While important, you also need to consider, what are the deeper, more meaningful characteristics that are important to you?

One way to get at that answer is to think about someone who has inspired you. Perhaps the person you are thinking of is someone in the past, or maybe someone you still know now. Perhaps they were a friend, teacher, parent or a co-worker, supervisor, or family member. What specifically about them is/was inspirational? What are the characteristics of that person who inspired you?

I have asked these three questions to hundreds of mentors and protégés for over five years. Consistently, across companies and groups within companies, there were commonalities about the person they were thinking about. The following is a representative sample of responses regarding the specific characteristics of those people who were inspirational:

The person was/is:
* Caring
* Fair
* Honest
* Concerned
* Trustworthy
* Authentic
* Tells it like it is
* Willing to say difficult things
* Brutally honest
* Always there for the other person

The person had/has:
* The other person's best interest at heart
* Integrity
* Belief in the other person
* Ability to share from their own experience

What characteristics will you bring to your mentoring relationship?

There are several facts that can be attributed to mentoring relationships: they are all different; some partnerships work and some do not. The nuances are as complex and varied as there are people who engage in mentoring partnerships. The truly unique aspect of mentoring is YOU. Bring yourself to the process and learn first hand about the messy, lovely, uncertain, circuitous, convoluted, impractical, time consuming, and vitally important art and practice of mentoring. In the end, one size clearly does not fit all when it comes to mentoring, so make sure you create a custom fit mentoring relationship that is just right for you!

References
Clawson JG. " Is Mentoring Necessary?" Training and Development Journal
Cole Y. " What's Hot in Diversity Management in Top Companies." Diversityinc.com

About the Author:

Ann M. Johnston is the President of Part Partners in Leadership, LLC. Ann brings over eighteen years of management and leadership experience to her work as a coach, consultant and facilitator in the areas of mentoring, diversity, and leadership development. She is co-author of Getting Started with Mentoring: A Practical Guide to Setting Up an Inclusive Mentoring Program. Her recent speaking engagements include the 2005 Linkage Women in Leadership Summit, the 2005 Summit on Leading Diversity, the 2005 Out and Equal Workplace Summit and it the IQPC Diversity Summit West 2005. Ann can be reached at 480.945.2629 or via e-mail at ajohnstonaz@cox.net

Ann Johnston will be presenting a breakout session at The Women in Leadership Summit on November 13-15 in Boston, MA on "Building Strategic Partnerships between Women: A Panel on Mentoring".

Reprinted from Link&Learn Newsletter